Small penises have feelings too.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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