There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
