My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
