So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
