I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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