just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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