I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
