So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
