We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
