Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
