Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
