p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
