Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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