i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
