On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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