Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
