I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
