dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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