So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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