Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
