I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
