do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We have started to decorate penises.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize