addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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