My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize