My room smells like vodka and shame
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
