Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
