We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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