so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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