another moral hangover. fuck.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize