Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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