Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize