wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
