I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
