Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
