i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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