I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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