Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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