Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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