At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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