Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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