I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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