He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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