I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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