i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
