This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
