"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
