HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
