you guys were way drunker than both of me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
