pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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