This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need to calm my uterus...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
