The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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