Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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