Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
