I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
