I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
