all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
