OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
