Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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