The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize