Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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