He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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