i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
