He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i dont even know how to be here
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
